Las Fallas (A Pyro's Dream)

WARNING: Before you read this post, please be advised that the words you will find to describe the magnificence of Las Fallas cannot sufficiently provide a clear understanding of the event. Las Fallas is a spectacular event that can only be properly digested through your presence in Valencia for the festival. But hey…better something than nothing!!!! So let’s get started.

Day 1

Off To A Great Start

After only being in Valencia (Las Fallas de Valencia) for only 30 minutes, I could already tell that this experience was going to be something I’d remember forever. I’ll just tell you now that a lot of what went on dealt with fire and blowing things up. After getting off of the bus in Valencia, we decided to wander the streets to see what was going on. Surprise Surprise…The first stop we made was at a fireworks shop. And no, this was not the same fireworks shop that we see in America. This shop had everything from drop pops to sticks of dynamite. All the illegal things we dream about on the 4^th of July. My motto for the trip was to “go big or go home”…So I went ahead and bought the strongest and most deafening explosives that they had in the shop. I was trying to blow a whole in the Earth the size of Texas. (My family is probably shaking their heads because they know I used to be a bit of a pyro. No stories necessary!) Okay back to the Las Fallas. My friends, Nick and Joe, also bought some bombs equal in intensity but a slightly different sound. Nick’s box came with 20, Joe’s box came with 10, and my box came with 5. Surprisingly they were fairly cheap (Those pictured were the small kind). We were like little kids in a candy store. Filled with excitement, we darted outside to test our new toys out. Nick decided to be the first to break the seal of our 48 hour grenade tossing contest. He lit the fuse and tossed it about 7 feet away. Our hearts were pounding as we anticipated the explosion. As soon as the bomb detonated, Joe jumped about 6 feet in the air (sorry Joe!) LOL. We definitely underestimated the power of our new toys when we were buying them. Joe and I decided to hold on to our fireworks being that we had a smaller quantity but more intense petardos (fireworks). After that, we decided to go back to our hotel. We picked up another friend, Merve, on the way. Later I’ll explain how Joe almost gave some old ladies a heart attack!!!

The Virgin Parade

The next event we decided to go to on Day 1 was the Virgin’s Parade. Now I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on its significance but here is my understanding of the event. A massive amount of people (mostly women and children) are suited in very fancy and elaborately decorated clothing. They looked like royalty. They were honored as they marched through the streets of Valencia. The entire central area of Valencia was blocked off for the event. This was one of the most impressive parades I have ever attended for a few reasons. 1. They marched for what seemed to be 10 hours 2. The outfits they were dressed in cost over a thousand dollars 3. I don’t know if I believe that they were all virgins, but if it’s true, I saw more virgins at one time than I have seen in my entire life (literally thousands) LOL. I say that halfway joking but if you sit back and think seriously, it is quite amazing. I had a great time watching the parade. However, after about 2 hours I was about done seeing all of the people marching through the street. I was ready for some more explosives, partying, and fire.

Paella and Public Intoxication

After watching the Virgin’s Parade for awhile, we were all starving and ready to eat Valencia’s world famous Paella. They say it’s a crime to travel to Valencia and not eat the Paella. Basically, it is chicken and rice but a million times more tasty (and it better be for 10 Euros/$13 per plate) One more thing about Valencia was that drinking alcohol in public was completely legal. The rules in Spain are more relaxed in general but I’m pretty sure it was legal in Valencia at that time. It was normal to see people with open bottles of vodka, beer, and whine walking the streets consuming whatever concoction they had created. It was more about relaxing and having a good time as opposed to getting drunk and making a fool of yourself, although there were some who did that as well. Only because we wanted to truly live the experience, my friends and I decided mix a few drinks of our own as we enjoyed a night in Valencia.

Playing Tag with Fireworks?

Ok the caption may be a bit much.........NAHHHHH! When night fall had come we decided to light off some more fireworks. Keep in mind that the place already sounded like a warzone as people were blowing things up every 10 seconds, and I do mean every 10 seconds. Anyway, we were walking down one of the streets and we saw some children (about 5 years old) and their parents lighting fireworks. We decided to light a few bottle rockets just to have a little fun with them. The kids thought it was great. Just then, I see this five year old running at Nick with a small firework in his hand. He then throws the firework that had already been lit right at Nick. He ran away laughing and pointing as Nick danced while the blackcat exploded by his feet. It was like it was a game. Obviously, the blackcat wasn’t big enough to do any serious harm. It was more comical than anything. I could only imagine what the repercussions would be in the US for throwing lit fireworks at another person…Yet, here it was something that we were all laughing at. This may sound very dangerous but keep in mind that everyone was more careful than you could believe… OK so now for the story about Joe almost giving 3 old ladies a heart attack. Throughout the day we had learned that if you put a bomb in a tunnel, the sound is amplified about 10 times its normal intensity. Joe proceeds to walk over to a tunnel and throw one of his ten deafening explosives inside. Just then, 3 old ladies, around 60-70, were walking by the entrance of the tunnel as a huge explosion went off directly in front of them. I have never seen 70 year olds move that fast LOL. Imagine seeing an elderly lady high stepping like Deion Sanders. Clearly, this was not the intent, or at least I don’t think it was. But I almost cracked a rib from laughing so hard. I’m sorry America but it was hilarious. (No one was hurt)

Day 2

Caught in the middle of a Warzone

After getting back to the hotel around 6am, I decided that I’d go to sleep and wake up naturally, no alarm. Instead, around 10 o’clock I was awakened by what I thought was a military invasion. Sorry, I was still in a daze! Thunderous explosions rang one after another. Still half asleep and very disoriented, I stumbled over to the window to see what was going on. All I could see was smoke consuming the city from all of the petardos detonating. Needless to say, I had forgotten where I was. It was an amazing realization that this is what it sounded like to people who lived in countries at war. I could never truly grasp how it feels to have (real) bombs going off around me, but just for a second I felt that I had a better understanding.

Mascletas

Everyday in the city center around noon, there was a fireworks display. How could there be a fireworks display in sunlight? Well…this fireworks display had nothing to do with the beauty and elaborate colors that come after the explosion. This event was about the sheer power and amplitude of each explosion. As we rushed to catch the ten minute display of machismo we found ourselves caught in a crowd of millions of people from around the world. I was astounded by the amount of people attending the Mascletas. You’ll see from the video that we were packed like sardines for as far back as the eye could see. And this was only on the one street in which we observed the Mascletas. If you can imagine the largest anthill you’ve ever seen in your life, it was about like that. We arrived much too late to reach ground zero of the display. Nevertheless, we could still feel our bones quake with each explosion. The ground was shaking as if a tank was rolling right beside me. It was mind boggling to here the back to back to back explosions. I can only imagine what it felt like to be in the front. At the end of the Mascletas, the crowd sent back a deafening response of its own as millions of people cheered an unforgettable experience. When you watch the video, be sure to turn your volume all the way up. Then multiply that sound by 1000 and that’s about what we heard.

LAS FALLAS!!!

What is Las Fallas? As it was explained to me, the significance of this event if very interesting. Throughout the year we all have our hopes and dreams that we would like to come true at some point. Unfortunately, there are many obstacles and barriers that lead to failures or mishaps. In the city of Valencia, statues of all sizes are erected. These statues (Fallas) are made of a highly flammable plastic material that can be molded in very detailed structures. The Fallas represent all of the things that have gone wrong throughout the year. During Las Fallas de Valencia, these statues are set ablaze signifying a new beginning, ridding ourselves of problems of the past. For example, some Fallas show women getting plastic surgery, economic crisis, political mischief, illegal immigrants, etc… Neighborhoods spend a large sum of money to create these statues. The most expensive Fallas are almost the size of a building and cost over $1,000,000 dollars. In the end, all the Fallas are burned down except for the one deemed to be the winner.

As I said before, my motto for the trip was to “go big or go home.” Thus, my friends and I decided to go to the largest and most popular Falla right in the city center (multiple Fallas burn throughout the city). Again, the amount of people present at the burning of the Fallas was astounding. This time, I think there were even more present than there were at the Mascleta. As you will see from the video, I managed to obtain a front row position amongst millions and millions of people. The journey to get to the front is a story in itself. Let’s just say that an angry mob of people desperately wanted to jump on the policia as they smashed us into each other in attempt to move the crowd further away from the Falla. It was nearly impossible to move. At the time I was angry due to a lack of understanding of their reasoning. After the burning took place, I had a very clear understanding why we had to move further back. I was very grateful for the persistence of the policia. I’ll only say a few more things about the burning of the Fallas because words cannot do it justice. 1. It was so hot that I literally felt like my face was melting. 2. If it looks like fireworks were erupting right over my head, its because they were (video) 3. Priceless Experience!!!

Bomberos Maricon?

Following the burning of the most popular Falla, we thought that it was all over. Well…I guess Las Fallas decided to give us an encore presentation. After finding my friends, we decided to try and search for something else to get into. We ended up running into another statue burning. This statue was much smaller, but it was not the burning that made this experience worthwhile. Near the end of the statue burning to the ground the crowd began to inch closer and closer to the fire, which was still fairly larger. There wasn’t the same amount security as there was at the other. Obviously, something had to be done. The bomberos (fireman) turned the huge fire hose on us, the crowd, to keep us away. Can you imagine being blasted by the pressure of a real fire hose? The crowd began chanting “Bomberos Maricon” as we inched closer to the fire. The chant was all in fun. No hate toward anyone sexual preference (maricon). At first I thought it was about to turn into a riot. Of course, I would have left if that was the case. But just then, I noticed that a game ensued between the people and the bomberos. As soon as we got too close we would be drenched by the fire hose as we were retreating. Seconds after being sprayed, we began inching closer once again. Although the chant was meant to tease the bomberos and the whole process seemed dangerous, it was obvious that everything was done for the sake of having a good time. After the fire was put out, the crowd rushed the bomberos and hoisted them in the air as we celebrated a great experience. It was as if the bomberos had won the SuperBowl.

WOW…What an amazing 2 days!!!

*Amidst all of the alcohol, fire, and bombs, this was the most peaceful gathering I have ever seen. I was amazed by the fact that I did not see one fight, argument, or injury. It is impressive to see that there can be literally millions of people gathered together surrounded by so much danger, yet there is so much peace.

*Unfortunately, I still have no idea how to load a photo album onto the blog. If you want to see the pictures, I have them posted in an album on Facebook. They are definitely worth seeing!

Thank you for tuning in to the BLOG once again. I look forward to hearing from you all!

-InternationalDarius

internationaldarius@yahoo.com